pain
-
Just like the child who tied a pork chop around his neck just to get the dog to play with him. There’s an innocence in that, a simple desire for connection, harmless and understandable. But adulthood doesn’t give us the same grace. When we keep doing the equivalent changing ourselves, wearing what others like, shaping… Read more
-
Deep Depression, Trauma, and the Memories You Think We “Forgot”There’s a quiet kind of grief that doesn’t get talked about much—the kind where you start losing pieces of your own life, and no one around you even notices. From the outside, it looks small. Someone forgets a conversation. Misses details. Can’t recall a moment that… Read more
-
Listen closely.. this needs to be said no matter how many times you hear the stories…. listen again! Every day I walk among people who are carrying deep wounds of trauma that has not been seen, not been heard, not been given room to heal. And while I show up, so many of those who should… Read more
-
I don’t recall Jesus Christ ever telling anyone, not even Judas; that He couldn’t visit because of a picture on the wall, the color of their walls or maybe because they had friends who weren’t Christian….or that He couldn’t visit or heal them or pray for them due to the negativity of their attitude(pains of… Read more
-
In the garden of my grandmother’s house, magnolias bloomed like whispers. their petals soft as secrets shared, fragrant memories drifting on warm breezes, shadows of afternoons spent in laughter. Azaleas, bright as a child’s laughter, their bold hues painting the air, each blossom a promise of joy, cuttings planted with threads of love, each… Read more
-
La douleur, comme un vent froid,se glisse entre les murs de ma pensée,frappant la chair des souvenirs,les échos d’un rire perdu,un monde où la lumière ne s’épanouit plus Les émotions, ces ombres,s’accrochent à mes pas,comme des racines tordues,s’enfonçant dans le sol,me tirant vers un abîme Le cœur, ce prisonnier,battant sans but,tandis que les jours se… Read more
-
I.In the hollow of your laughterthe walls trembled with a warmth that now shivers in the absence,each echo a splinter,each silence a weight I am unable to offsetII.You both were my compasses, the nurturing hands, the love, the life, the lighthouse in each storms. now with each breath only the sounds of ghosts whispering of… Read more
-
Religion builds hedges adorned with beauty, ornate, ceremony and pride and its rules whisper, do or die with millions of hearts bound in fear and the majority are in the churchCaught in a paradox of belief and works, many are held down by the weight of pseudo salvation wrapped in chainsThen, just as with Dismas,… Read more
-
I watched ,from the shadows of a room, her performance and dance was to die for, to believe: yet it became a feast for wolves dressed in wool Each face a mask painted with smiles,but beneath the surface,the lies like pecan tree roots twisting through the soil of my desire to be loved, simply loved… Read more
-
In the brittle cold and loneliness of my room,I watch as night settles and the string lights are turned off as their brutal glare is too bright for the shadows hiding in the corners of my mind I’m a wordsmith therefore words never choke in my throat, yet today life seems lost like silence in… Read more
-
One worm gets in an apple, not long after the worm dies and never gets to eat the entire applehowever if that apple gets tossed into a barrel with other apples the whole lot will be spoiled all the loss because of one wormthe Bible says gossip is murder character assassination so gossip is wrong… Read more
-
you’ve never been thereyou’ve never held each memoryI wear my scars like scratches, scuffs, and swirling spoons striking my body ,faded edges, chipped rim you don’t see the way I gather pieces of myself from the floor, as a reminderof the ones who slipped through my hands like tiny grains of sand loneliness is a… Read more
-
all I wanted was a family; a tableset for Two to Four where laughter reigned as King, and smiles and hugs were found every dayinstead, silence was birthed: what’s wrong with me? I sift through photographs of my childhood looking at all the faces smiling, yet they are now long gone and only like ghosts… Read more
-
dust collects on the edges of memories living room walls grayed with outlines of what was,photographs hang in webbed silence each face frozen in a laugh that no longer resounds Their love as a vase cracked, yet still holding water,the stems of our shared days with petals dry, dead on the floor, they dropped only… Read more
-
my dance is not over just on pause daily my gravity pulls my world from beneath my feet as my heart races to catch a ghost,a shadow of someone I used to be: POTS my new internal roommate My bedroom tilts and twists on its axis, furniture shifts, the familiar becomes a mountain much like… Read more
-
what am I, why do I hold love with nowhere to go In a landscape stripped bare,roots claw at the earth; Here, it grows,seeking truth in the silence, a prayer,for love with nowhere to go, my wandering spirit in a desert of desolation hungry for the rain,for a promise forgotten, fragments of joy hover,like moths… Read more
-
once again the kettle whistles, once a loud demand, now only a dull complaint; which is all that fills this hollow space as a reminder—even the simplest things can turn bitter gazing across the pasture I trees standing like military sentinels but they know nothing of the weight that grows heavier each minute daily I… Read more
-
My tears fall like a dropped coin,tinkling, and twirling to rest; a reminder of absence,the sounds of what was, and what will never be I sit with my grief, no longer my parents deaths, but new demons to face wrapped in heavy webbing Outside, friends lives continue, their new family arrivals or other joy and… Read more
-
I do not fear any door closing, nor the weight of absence that settles over empty fields as sunflowers bow alive in stillness and silence For over 10 years I have courted chaos, and her friend loss took my hand, as to steal me away then Death saw me and smiled for he is an… Read more
-
Inside my rib cage lies a grave marked with 6 names and on the ground surrounding it are the remnants of a boy lost in memories and dreams,starved of life, breath fading; lost beneath what could have been This boy, that I the old man am, are one in the same: He often does not… Read more
-
In the quiet of the hospital room,you lay , a mosaic of strength,31 needles laid out like a soldier’s salute,each one a story etched in the skin of your arms; yet the way you smile,as if the world is offering you coffee and an eclair Every day a marathon,your vision, a puzzle with missing pieces,yet… Read more
-
Christmas is upon me yet again:ten years have passed,the calendars pages turn month by month ,but I remain as a mere “X” with no lateral motion each shadow a story with my permanent companions pain, anger,loss ; these are true friendsI carry the weightof a thousand whispers daily and hundreds of thousands of emotions firing… Read more
-
Today is another day where I am Schrödinger’s cat sitting in the box along with uncertainty, which stems from the weight of possibility that I am both alive and dead simultaneously Hourly I am pinned between the what if, and the never was,a silent empty chair across from me the uninvited guest,the taste of stale… Read more
The Quill of Samantha Grace Newcastle 