fear
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I was asked today to make things simple rather than how I most often write or talk… so here’s a fully regular writing that touches home for me…. for 9 reasons…. I’ve thought about this a lot, probably more than I’d like to admit. You lose somebody, or you get close to losing somebody, and… Read more
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no rhyme, nor reason – just sharing differently today. I decided to share thoughts as they came in reference to the scripture listed that I heard at a breakfast meeting this morning…. from these few verses ( 3 to 9 of II Peter chapter 3) and adding Romans 1 “Because that, when they knew God,… Read more
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La douleur, comme un vent froid,se glisse entre les murs de ma pensée,frappant la chair des souvenirs,les échos d’un rire perdu,un monde où la lumière ne s’épanouit plus Les émotions, ces ombres,s’accrochent à mes pas,comme des racines tordues,s’enfonçant dans le sol,me tirant vers un abîme Le cœur, ce prisonnier,battant sans but,tandis que les jours se… Read more
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I.In the hollow of your laughterthe walls trembled with a warmth that now shivers in the absence,each echo a splinter,each silence a weight I am unable to offsetII.You both were my compasses, the nurturing hands, the love, the life, the lighthouse in each storms. now with each breath only the sounds of ghosts whispering of… Read more
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I watched ,from the shadows of a room, her performance and dance was to die for, to believe: yet it became a feast for wolves dressed in wool Each face a mask painted with smiles,but beneath the surface,the lies like pecan tree roots twisting through the soil of my desire to be loved, simply loved… Read more
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How do you write, why do you write; I was asked, and so with the weight of the room upon me and in a fragile breath I replied: Affective empathy,partial hyper empathy,I taste the salt of sorrow along with the sweet ache of absence,each word a single cord, becoming either a noose or a safety… Read more
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the life clock ticks moment by moment an agonizing reminder of loss; faith slipping through my fingers like dust washed from gold by hydrogen cyanide My forgotten prayers all blurred, my guts are wrenched pleading for resurrection from the death I call life, and the light that never comes Outside, the horror of east coast… Read more
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Below are common C-PTSD markers, especially as they appear after long-term narcissistic or relational abuse. 1. Emotional DysregulationDifficulty returning to baseline after stress.Sudden anger, irritation, or rage (often followed by shame)Emotional numbness or shutdownFeeling “too much” or “nothing at all”Overwhelm from relatively small triggers 2. Persistent HypervigilanceThe nervous system stays in threat mode.Constant scanning for… Read more
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In the sanctuary’s stillness hymns flow gracefully ,each note a question:what does it mean to believe when the heart is a closed door, and silence fills the spaces? Memories are fractured, like a child’s drawing of a house with sunshine in the corner with the sky gray which holds no promise as I write the… Read more
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My tears fall like a dropped coin,tinkling, and twirling to rest; a reminder of absence,the sounds of what was, and what will never be I sit with my grief, no longer my parents deaths, but new demons to face wrapped in heavy webbing Outside, friends lives continue, their new family arrivals or other joy and… Read more
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I do not fear any door closing, nor the weight of absence that settles over empty fields as sunflowers bow alive in stillness and silence For over 10 years I have courted chaos, and her friend loss took my hand, as to steal me away then Death saw me and smiled for he is an… Read more
The Quill of Samantha Grace Newcastle 