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The Apostle Paul teaches that when Christ was crucified, our old nature, our sinful self that once served sin, was also crucified with Him…. This truth reaches far beyond symbolic meaning; it speaks of a spiritual reality in which the believer’s former life is put to death through union with Christ.Before salvation, humanity lived under… Read more
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I sat and watched you draw your last breath, Dear Mother -A fragile whisper lost in a fading glow, 5 months and 7 days later with daddy’s hand in mine, I faced his death, in silent anguish, in tears and screams of anger. my heart laid bare by your deaths, now in woe that is… Read more
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The clock ticks,,each second a reminderof the charade,the performance that has grown too heavy,too worn Outside, the world around acts happy and joyful with family and home, while I stand numbed by the absurdityof my own existence,my polished and painted on grin cracking,revealing shadows beneath, as ,an urgent whisper: says “Stop,just stop.” It’s time to… Read more
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La douleur, comme un vent froid,se glisse entre les murs de ma pensée,frappant la chair des souvenirs,les échos d’un rire perdu,un monde où la lumière ne s’épanouit plus Les émotions, ces ombres,s’accrochent à mes pas,comme des racines tordues,s’enfonçant dans le sol,me tirant vers un abîme Le cœur, ce prisonnier,battant sans but,tandis que les jours se… Read more
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I.In the hollow of your laughterthe walls trembled with a warmth that now shivers in the absence,each echo a splinter,each silence a weight I am unable to offsetII.You both were my compasses, the nurturing hands, the love, the life, the lighthouse in each storms. now with each breath only the sounds of ghosts whispering of… Read more
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Year number 11 is here as I cradle a card,the embossed letters,faded, empty frames without your faces,smiling ghosts,haunting my thoughts Tied by barbed wire to a post, a single rose wilts, it’s secrets and memories I’ll never share, for people now are too dense to truly grasp love and joy Today in my heart beneath… Read more
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To Memory: Memory,you are a delicate thread, a tape-loop of laughter, hands molding clay,sticky ice cream fingers,the way he’d tilt his head,as if trying to catch the light and the sun that danced in his smiles I count the birthdays missed,balloons floating to ceilings,each one a year without his giggles, and there’s silence rather than… Read more
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In the brightness of midnight,the floorboards creak as silently I hear deliberate whispers beneath my feet; a harbinger of something unseen Internal secrets,breath held tight,the air has a scent, seemingly metallic and bitter,and unspoken fears are gnawing like rats at the edges of the mind What lies in the empty room that people all avoid?… Read more
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I watched ,from the shadows of a room, her performance and dance was to die for, to believe: yet it became a feast for wolves dressed in wool Each face a mask painted with smiles,but beneath the surface,the lies like pecan tree roots twisting through the soil of my desire to be loved, simply loved… Read more
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my heart is growing teeth sharp and jagged, chewing and gnawing at what was once tender and now the bitterness of years gone by is no better than cold coffee the axe head came to my forest and I was oblivious because the handle was wooden, and I never paid attention to the whispers of… Read more
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There are many churches today participating in the current fad known as The Daniel Fast. This is a man-made so-called spiritual activity that is supposed to automatically draw you closer to God by eating things that are on a list and not eating things that are not on a list. If you partake of this… Read more
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the lilacs still cling to the corners of my mind,a ghost of my lovely childhood in my grandmother’s kitchen,where laughter simmered along with blackeyed peas and ham and fresh biscuits I remember her hands kneading dough while the rain tapped like pellets against the window; now their dining room sits with empty chairs,their silence shows… Read more
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you’ve never been thereyou’ve never held each memoryI wear my scars like scratches, scuffs, and swirling spoons striking my body ,faded edges, chipped rim you don’t see the way I gather pieces of myself from the floor, as a reminderof the ones who slipped through my hands like tiny grains of sand loneliness is a… Read more
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all I wanted was a family; a tableset for Two to Four where laughter reigned as King, and smiles and hugs were found every dayinstead, silence was birthed: what’s wrong with me? I sift through photographs of my childhood looking at all the faces smiling, yet they are now long gone and only like ghosts… Read more
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Grace is God’s all-sufficient provision secured at the cross and written in Blood and alive in His Word, the living Word, Jesus Christ. This contract bears out that as true Christian’s we none ever have to face a crisis wondering if God has made a way. Human nature definitely makes us ask, worry or get… Read more
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dust collects on the edges of memories living room walls grayed with outlines of what was,photographs hang in webbed silence each face frozen in a laugh that no longer resounds Their love as a vase cracked, yet still holding water,the stems of our shared days with petals dry, dead on the floor, they dropped only… Read more
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How do you write, why do you write; I was asked, and so with the weight of the room upon me and in a fragile breath I replied: Affective empathy,partial hyper empathy,I taste the salt of sorrow along with the sweet ache of absence,each word a single cord, becoming either a noose or a safety… Read more
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Taking a normal pair of eyeglasses out of their case, putting them back in, then even slowly pulling them out; it’s much like the emotions of abuse The case represents shelter and safety, while removing the glasses means stepping into a world where it once was destroyed but in truth they can be useful, helping… Read more
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the life clock ticks moment by moment an agonizing reminder of loss; faith slipping through my fingers like dust washed from gold by hydrogen cyanide My forgotten prayers all blurred, my guts are wrenched pleading for resurrection from the death I call life, and the light that never comes Outside, the horror of east coast… Read more
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Below are common C-PTSD markers, especially as they appear after long-term narcissistic or relational abuse. 1. Emotional DysregulationDifficulty returning to baseline after stress.Sudden anger, irritation, or rage (often followed by shame)Emotional numbness or shutdownFeeling “too much” or “nothing at all”Overwhelm from relatively small triggers 2. Persistent HypervigilanceThe nervous system stays in threat mode.Constant scanning for… Read more
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In the sanctuary’s stillness hymns flow gracefully ,each note a question:what does it mean to believe when the heart is a closed door, and silence fills the spaces? Memories are fractured, like a child’s drawing of a house with sunshine in the corner with the sky gray which holds no promise as I write the… Read more
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once again the kettle whistles, once a loud demand, now only a dull complaint; which is all that fills this hollow space as a reminder—even the simplest things can turn bitter gazing across the pasture I trees standing like military sentinels but they know nothing of the weight that grows heavier each minute daily I… Read more
The Quill of Samantha Grace Newcastle 