The Quill of Samantha Grace Newcastle

funeral

  • Only

    Every now and again, I view pictures of grave markers, head stones, etc. Most likely due to my experiences with my parents in the Funeral Business for most of the younger part of my life to about the age of 19 I’ve been to over 714 funerals personally and my parents often did 240 to… Read more

  • yes I’ll know, I will see them

    I was asked today to make things simple rather than how I most often write or talk… so here’s a fully regular writing that touches home for me…. for 9 reasons…. I’ve thought about this a lot, probably more than I’d like to admit. You lose somebody, or you get close to losing somebody, and… Read more

  • It is a sin, not often viewed

    The seriousness of gossip and slander within Christian life is a real, and yes it’s a sin and many times wilfully done to feed the persons need to belong or the need to feel important.My message argues, with heavy reliance on Scripture, that sins of the tongue, such as gossip, backbiting, and slander, are spiritually… Read more

  • Certainty is this

    In the stillness before dawn my morning unfolds as I awaken wondering how many times can mercy rise insistent as the sun Then I remember a promise,carried on the breath of the wind, it’s the Holy Spirit speaking:“Great is Your faithfulness.” I think of the enemy,the creeping doubt,the voice that slithers through the chasms of… Read more

  • the axe and the heart

    my heart is growing teeth sharp and jagged, chewing and gnawing at what was once tender and now the bitterness of years gone by is no better than cold coffee the axe head came to my forest and I was oblivious because the handle was wooden, and I never paid attention to the whispers of… Read more

  • Why, How, Reason?

    How do you write, why do you write; I was asked, and so with the weight of the room upon me and in a fragile breath I replied: Affective empathy,partial hyper empathy,I taste the salt of sorrow along with the sweet ache of absence,each word a single cord, becoming either a noose or a safety… Read more

  • Ήταν αληθινό

    the life clock ticks moment by moment an agonizing reminder of loss; faith slipping through my fingers like dust washed from gold by hydrogen cyanide My forgotten prayers all blurred, my guts are wrenched pleading for resurrection from the death I call life, and the light that never comes Outside, the horror of east coast… Read more

  • it is very real

    Below are common C-PTSD markers, especially as they appear after long-term narcissistic or relational abuse. 1. Emotional DysregulationDifficulty returning to baseline after stress.Sudden anger, irritation, or rage (often followed by shame)Emotional numbness or shutdownFeeling “too much” or “nothing at all”Overwhelm from relatively small triggers 2. Persistent HypervigilanceThe nervous system stays in threat mode.Constant scanning for… Read more

  • ROI

    In the sanctuary’s stillness hymns flow gracefully ,each note a question:what does it mean to believe when the heart is a closed door, and silence fills the spaces? Memories are fractured, like a child’s drawing of a house with sunshine in the corner with the sky gray which holds no promise as I write the… Read more

  • no tomorrow

    once again the kettle whistles, once a loud demand, now only a dull complaint; which is all that fills this hollow space as a reminder—even the simplest things can turn bitter gazing across the pasture I trees standing like military sentinels but they know nothing of the weight that grows heavier each minute daily I… Read more

  • Attending my funeral

    My tears fall like a dropped coin,tinkling, and twirling to rest; a reminder of absence,the sounds of what was, and what will never be I sit with my grief, no longer my parents deaths, but new demons to face wrapped in heavy webbing Outside, friends lives continue, their new family arrivals or other joy and… Read more