cptsd
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To Memory: Memory,you are a delicate thread, a tape-loop of laughter, hands molding clay,sticky ice cream fingers,the way he’d tilt his head,as if trying to catch the light and the sun that danced in his smiles I count the birthdays missed,balloons floating to ceilings,each one a year without his giggles, and there’s silence rather than… Read more
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you’ve never been thereyou’ve never held each memoryI wear my scars like scratches, scuffs, and swirling spoons striking my body ,faded edges, chipped rim you don’t see the way I gather pieces of myself from the floor, as a reminderof the ones who slipped through my hands like tiny grains of sand loneliness is a… Read more
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dust collects on the edges of memories living room walls grayed with outlines of what was,photographs hang in webbed silence each face frozen in a laugh that no longer resounds Their love as a vase cracked, yet still holding water,the stems of our shared days with petals dry, dead on the floor, they dropped only… Read more
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How do you write, why do you write; I was asked, and so with the weight of the room upon me and in a fragile breath I replied: Affective empathy,partial hyper empathy,I taste the salt of sorrow along with the sweet ache of absence,each word a single cord, becoming either a noose or a safety… Read more
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what am I, why do I hold love with nowhere to go In a landscape stripped bare,roots claw at the earth; Here, it grows,seeking truth in the silence, a prayer,for love with nowhere to go, my wandering spirit in a desert of desolation hungry for the rain,for a promise forgotten, fragments of joy hover,like moths… Read more
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Taking a normal pair of eyeglasses out of their case, putting them back in, then even slowly pulling them out; it’s much like the emotions of abuse The case represents shelter and safety, while removing the glasses means stepping into a world where it once was destroyed but in truth they can be useful, helping… Read more
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the life clock ticks moment by moment an agonizing reminder of loss; faith slipping through my fingers like dust washed from gold by hydrogen cyanide My forgotten prayers all blurred, my guts are wrenched pleading for resurrection from the death I call life, and the light that never comes Outside, the horror of east coast… Read more
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Below are common C-PTSD markers, especially as they appear after long-term narcissistic or relational abuse. 1. Emotional DysregulationDifficulty returning to baseline after stress.Sudden anger, irritation, or rage (often followed by shame)Emotional numbness or shutdownFeeling “too much” or “nothing at all”Overwhelm from relatively small triggers 2. Persistent HypervigilanceThe nervous system stays in threat mode.Constant scanning for… Read more
The Quill of Samantha Grace Newcastle 