chaos
-
DEPRESSION you think you can drain me and call it truth you tell me I am nothing over and over like repetition makes it real IT DOES NOT You are a distortion not a verdict And I am still here Breathing Existing Living in a world you said I would not survive That alone proves you wrong BIPOLAR DISORDER you… Read more
-
Tonight’s writing is part reflection, part elegy, and it says something many healers, empaths, and compassionate people experience but rarely express out loud: the exhaustion that comes from always being the giver, never the receiver. The healer was never meant to mend their own wounds, not the ones hidden in the heart, nor the quiet… Read more
-
“And also upon the servants and upon the handmaids in those days will I pour out my spirit. And I will show wonders in the heavens and on the earth, blood, and fire, and pillars of smoke. The sun shall be turned into darkness, and the moon into blood, before the great and terrible day… Read more
-
I.In the hollow of your laughterthe walls trembled with a warmth that now shivers in the absence,each echo a splinter,each silence a weight I am unable to offsetII.You both were my compasses, the nurturing hands, the love, the life, the lighthouse in each storms. now with each breath only the sounds of ghosts whispering of… Read more
-
Year number 11 is here as I cradle a card,the embossed letters,faded, empty frames without your faces,smiling ghosts,haunting my thoughts Tied by barbed wire to a post, a single rose wilts, it’s secrets and memories I’ll never share, for people now are too dense to truly grasp love and joy Today in my heart beneath… Read more
-
I watched ,from the shadows of a room, her performance and dance was to die for, to believe: yet it became a feast for wolves dressed in wool Each face a mask painted with smiles,but beneath the surface,the lies like pecan tree roots twisting through the soil of my desire to be loved, simply loved… Read more
-
In the front yard where daisies argue with dandelions her laughter is drawing circles in the air catching the wind’s secrets and each smile creates peace that only the wild knows There’s a tree casting shade, it’s bark a patchwork of stories,cracks and knots whispering tales of storms as the reminder that her life is… Read more
-
dust collects on the edges of memories living room walls grayed with outlines of what was,photographs hang in webbed silence each face frozen in a laugh that no longer resounds Their love as a vase cracked, yet still holding water,the stems of our shared days with petals dry, dead on the floor, they dropped only… Read more
-
How do you write, why do you write; I was asked, and so with the weight of the room upon me and in a fragile breath I replied: Affective empathy,partial hyper empathy,I taste the salt of sorrow along with the sweet ache of absence,each word a single cord, becoming either a noose or a safety… Read more
-
what am I, why do I hold love with nowhere to go In a landscape stripped bare,roots claw at the earth; Here, it grows,seeking truth in the silence, a prayer,for love with nowhere to go, my wandering spirit in a desert of desolation hungry for the rain,for a promise forgotten, fragments of joy hover,like moths… Read more
-
the life clock ticks moment by moment an agonizing reminder of loss; faith slipping through my fingers like dust washed from gold by hydrogen cyanide My forgotten prayers all blurred, my guts are wrenched pleading for resurrection from the death I call life, and the light that never comes Outside, the horror of east coast… Read more
-
Below are common C-PTSD markers, especially as they appear after long-term narcissistic or relational abuse. 1. Emotional DysregulationDifficulty returning to baseline after stress.Sudden anger, irritation, or rage (often followed by shame)Emotional numbness or shutdownFeeling “too much” or “nothing at all”Overwhelm from relatively small triggers 2. Persistent HypervigilanceThe nervous system stays in threat mode.Constant scanning for… Read more
-
My tears fall like a dropped coin,tinkling, and twirling to rest; a reminder of absence,the sounds of what was, and what will never be I sit with my grief, no longer my parents deaths, but new demons to face wrapped in heavy webbing Outside, friends lives continue, their new family arrivals or other joy and… Read more
-
I do not fear any door closing, nor the weight of absence that settles over empty fields as sunflowers bow alive in stillness and silence For over 10 years I have courted chaos, and her friend loss took my hand, as to steal me away then Death saw me and smiled for he is an… Read more
The Quill of Samantha Grace Newcastle 