I am…

I kept giving parts of myself away like it was the right thing to do. Like it meant something to leave myself lacking so someone else wouldn’t have to. Piece by piece, I handed it out, thinking it mattered. Thinking it would come back.

It didn’t.

Now I’m left looking at what remains, and it barely feels like me. Like something that was once whole, then slowly taken apart by my own hands and given to people who never had any intention of holding it with care.
I care. That’s the problem.

Caring without limits doesn’t make you strong. It makes you easy to use. And I see that clearly now.
I have no patience left for liars, for gossip, for people who take and take while pretending they’re something they’re not. They can find someone else. I’m done.

There’s a difference between people who show up and people who show up to take. I see it now, and I’m not ignoring it anymore.
All those places that talk about caring, about community: but only if you fit, only if you don’t struggle too loudly, only if you’re convenient. Step outside that, and you disappear.
Nobody calls….. 3 in 9 months they dialed the old number but haven’t dialed the new one yet
Nobody checks….. 2 or 3 visits 9 months I’ll stake this claim on the ashes of my parents.!!
Silence is honest…. Damn me for not being silent before today….

I’m not even angry anymore. That part is gone. Vengeance only for 3,,,,but maybe that’s leaving too

I gave what I had. Time. Energy. Pieces of who I am. I gave it honestly.
Now there’s almost nothing left.

And I don’t know how to keep caring without losing the rest of myself.,,, I’m a 1000 piece puzzle once beautifully put together, now 64 are left…….. Not even the flat edges

The truth is simple:
I have no home.
I have no family.
And I’m done reaching out